Remember How I Love You
by Paperlight
Summary: They love each other. It's that simple...right? After finding themselves in a rut Emily and Alison's world gets turned upside down when on a vacation to renew what they once had secrets start to ooze out, and they find that maybe everything isn't as it seems. They just might have been worse. Used to be "49"
1. Prologue

"Remember when we first met." She ask one night in bed, when their wrapped up in each other, as the moonlight sifts through the window onto the two lovers.

"Of course, how could I forget." Emily smiles recalling their first encounter, reaching to place a lock of hair behind Alison's ear before whispering, "Goldilocks."

They share a laugh as they both remember the ridiculous name Emily had called her during their first meeting. Alison looks at Emily's lips as another memory of a first comes to her mind.

"What about our first kiss? Do you remember that?"

"I think, I'm not sure though." Emily smirks. "I think I may need to be reminded though."

Alison's hands find their way to Emily's face as she captures the lips of the girl beneath her. She tilts her head to gain access to the beautiful lips of her girlfriend. Surely and slowly their lips move against each other. Sweet and chaste.

"I think it went a little something like that." Alison says as she pulls back only to find Emily chuckling and her eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"No it didn't, our first kiss was nothing like that."

Emily watches as Alison rolls her eyes. "That first first one doesn't count. We were strangers and we were drunk."

"And you touched my ass." Emily lets out another laugh.

"Can't we just agree that our first kiss was the one after the third date." She ask, as her hands start to run through the beautiful dark strands of hair in the moonlight. She's constantly mesmerized by how beautiful it is, especially in the moonlight.

Emily shrugs. "I guess. It was the first time our lips touched and we both remembered clearly what happened the next day."

"You say that like that's all that touched." Alison smiles suggestively before getting back on her train of thought. "For me that night in the alley, that will always be when our first kiss happened for me. And in that moment, it was like I saw the future."

"Oh yeah?" Emily wonders aloud while her fingers dance up Alison's back slowly.

"Yeah."

"What did you see?"

"You and me. Together. And I knew-I was sure that seventh date was gonna happen. And the eleventh. The hundredth and forty ninth. And that one day I no longer would introduce you as just "my girlfriend."

"You knew that all from our, second first kiss?" Emily asks, she's skeptical, but hoping to believe that those words were true.

"Yes." She looks dead into her eyes. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately."

"Really?"

"It made me realize I don't want to have to wait any longer to get to that future. Because I know it's with you."

"Ali, what are you saying?"

"You're like the moonlight, Emily. You illuminate the dark places in my life. I don't want a day without you. When I try to look down five months into the future all I see is you. When I try to think of how my life will be five years from now all I see is you. I love you. Emily," She pauses making sure she's looking directly in Emily's eyes. "Will you marry me?"


	2. Remember, Trust

Bali Five Years Later

It all happened so rapidly she's not sure what actually is happening. It started their third night in Bali during dinner. Dinner like the previous three days of their trip had been great. Trying new exotic dishes, with a great view of the sun setting over the water, and her favorite person in the world Emily couldn't have been happier. She had missed some of the little things. Like the way Ali looked at her, so boldly because she knew they belonged with each other. It felt amazing to see that assurance in her eyes. By the time dessert came around Emily couldn't help but feel that this vacation was something that they truly did need.

When she looked at Alison again though she found the blue eyes focused behind her, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth set into a thin line. She knows that look. Honestly it's worrying her, she thought they were both enjoying themselves. That they were getting somewhere, back to the way they were. "What's wrong?" She asks.

Alison eyes are serious as they focus from the distance onto Emily. "You trust me right?"

"Of course Ali." She pauses to smile. "With my life."

"Come on then." Ali says holding out her hand for Emily to grab. "We have to go."

"Go where?"

"Trust me." Is Alison's only reply for a couple of minutes. Emily says nothing as they exit the restaurant onto the busy street. She looks at Ali to ask another question when she see the familiar blue eyes stormy like the sea. She can see the gears turning in her head, as her eyes roam rapidly as she looks ahead. Alison has been with her for six years she knows her. She's thinking. She's making a plan. The brunette doesn't understand but trust whatever it is going on up there.

They pass a street vendor and Alison starts to speed up, Emily keeps up easily matching her pace. Briskly the blonde leads them down the street, her hand never leaving Emily's as they weave inbetween people.

"Alison."

Emily halts at the sound of the deep voice who just blurted her wife's name.

"Come on Emily." Alison tugs lightly on her hand. Her heart has started to be rapidly. They have got to get on the move. "We've got to go."

"Who's yelling your name?" Emily ask, but Alison ignores it and instead answers with her plan.

"You see the shop we stopped by this morning, right up there were going to turn left." She says while nodding towards a small grey building. "As soon as we turn the corner I need you to run. Ok?"

"But why is that guy calling your name."

"It doesn't matter now. I need you to trust me." She states once again."Please."

Emily just nods her head, before walking again. This time her pace almost in-sync with Ali's.

"Ok, are you ready." Alison ask, as their temporary destination comes closer.

"Wouldn't it be faster if we ran separately and went different ways. And met up somewhere?"

"No. I'm not letting you out of my sight." Her voice firm, trying to overpower the fear she feels striking her with every minute there out here in the open street. "Trust me."

As soon as they turn the corner Emily's feet are racing as fast as she can. She has no clue what she's running from but she trust Ali, and if she said run, she's gonna run.

"Alison." A voice booms again. It sounds distant, but they run even faster, even harder. "You can't run forever."

The shout echoes in their ear as they run further away from it. It's like they've left the world behind as their feet drive into the ground, and the colors become a blur of deep yellows, profound purples, and pinks so vivid its almost like a hallucination. Emily's need for air nearly disappears as her adrenaline kicks in to overdrive, and she's gone like the wind.

"Shit." She hears Ali mutter. "We're almost there."

Emily is brought back to Earth by her wife's voice, she doesn't know how long they've been running but she's starting to notice she actually is beginning to get tired. Her breaths have started to become heavier, and her lungs are starting to feel like there on fire. She almost trips and falls flat on the ground when Alison grabs a hold of her hand ducking them into a small alleyway.

"Shit." Alison says again skidding to a stop."Forgot they put that wall there." She says as she eyes the offending obstacle with disdain that's in front of them. "We have to go over the wall. You go first." She says as she locks her hands together in a foothold for Emily. "There will be a door on the left and it should be open. Go in there right away. I'll be right behind you."

Once Emily is over, Alison scales the wall with ease and grabbing for Emily's hand as soon as she enters the door. Emily follows closely as Ali leads them up the narrow staircase to a small hallway with two doors.

Ali knocks on the door to the right twice then three times then five and two again. As Emily she tries to catch her breath.

The door swings open to a smiling blonde woman. "You must be Emily." She greets, her smile wide and glamorous as she ushers them inside. "I've heard so much about you. You sure are a looker. However did Alison land you."

Emily is not exactly sure what to say. Her brain is running faster then they did with millions of thoughts from "who's this woman that knows her name?", to "who was the guy chasing them?" to "where is some water?"

"Shut it Cece, we don't have time for pleasantries. We need to get out of here. They're after us." Ali gets right to it, clearly annoyed by the blonde already.

"Oh. Told you mommy dearest wouldn't take lightly to you quitting." Cece says.

"Shut up." Ali says through her teeth.

"Rude." Cece replies rolling her eyes towards Ali before smiling at Emily. "Emily dear, sit you look like you could use some water."

"We need that plane. And I need one fast." Ali says as Cece enters the small kitchen. Ali determined to get out of her as fast as she can.

"You are no fun. I finally get to meet your wife and your leaving."

"Emily this is Cece, Cece this is Emily. Happy now?" she says with a faux smile, her eyes narrowing in impatience.

"You are no fun at all." She says before disappearing down the hall.

Ali turns to Emily, her game face softening as she grabs ahold of her the brunette's hand.

"Are you okay? Anything hurt?" she ask inspecting her hands before pressing a kiss to her palm.

"I'm fine." She exhales. "Ali who was that chasing us?"

"You should drink your water." She starts.

"Ali." Emily says, all she wants is answers. She damn sure deserves them after running a mile in flip flops.

Alison's eyebrows furrow once again as her eyes roam about the room before settling back onto Emily. "Operation 49." She finally lets out.

Emily nods her head. "Who's that?"

"Can this wait?"

"No. Ali we just got chased through the streets of Bali, by someone who you seem pretty scared of and who knows you name and said 'you can't run forever' what's that suppose to mean?"

"I made them mad."

"How? Are you in some type of trouble? And what does this have to do with your mom and job? Do you need help. We can call the cops." She's sure whatever trouble Ali has gotten herself into, she can come out of it.

"No we can't."

"Why not?"

"Because that would just make things worst." The blonde looks up and she doesn't think she's ever been more thankful to see Cece coming back into a room. Emily has a right to know, now isn't the time though.

"Listen I'll explain everything to you soon but right now we've got to move, Ok?"

"Ok."

"Remember, I love you." She says before placing a quick kiss on her lips. "Stay here I'll be right back."

Emily takes a drink from the water bottle, relief coming from the soothing liquid down her dry throat as she watches Alison disappear into a door down the small hall of the apartment.

"I thought you said here would be safe." Alison's voice is hushed and harsh. "This was not suppose to happen." Cece hands her a folder with the backup plan she had put in order before they got here. One that she really didn't think she would have to come and get.

"Hey it's not my fault. I thought it was safe, seeing as I've been here going on three years now and haven't ever had any trouble. I guess you're just special."

"Shut up." She grumbles, overlooking the papers to make sure their right. Nodding her head seeing everything checks out she heads back into the main room to see Emily thanking Cece.

"Thank you." Emily's not sure what she's saying it for exactly but she feels like one is due, since she is getting them further away from whoever was chasing them.

"Bring her back around Ali. Next time when you aren't being chased by the goons."

"Yeah. Whatever. See you."

Alison clasp her hand around Emily's as the exit the apartment, going through the front entrance. Alison leads them quickly past a couple of shops before halting in front of a car. She opens the door to the rusty, cream colored Volkswagen and waits as Emily slides onto the back seat before following.

"Alison DiLaurentis. Never thought I'd be seeing you around these parts." The driver says, facing them. His wide smile is beautiful and has her wondering if all Ali's secret friends have nice teeth. "Heard you were getting out of the business."

His green eyes turn to Emily as he ask, "So is this the Missus?"

The door squeaks as Alison slams it closed with a hufff. "Could you just drive, we have places to be."

"Alright, alright." He says turning back around, and starting the car. "But you could at least introduce me seeing as will be spending most of the day together. I mean it's only polite."

Alison rolls her eyes as she sinks further into the battered leather seat. "Your the pilot?"

He just smiles in response.

"Emily this is Buddy. Buddy this is my wife Emily."

"Nice to meet you." Emily says slowly.

"Babe." Ali says. Her voice irritated. "You might want to buckle up. Buddy here drives like hell."

Brian looks through the review mirror to glance at Ali who's giving him a death glare. He just smiles, and sends them a wink. "I won't go to fast."

He keeps the conversation going the whole time. And while Emily would love to use the opportunity to learn a little bit about what ever is happening she can't because Ali was right. He weaves in and out of traffic, and keeps turning around to look at them to talk. She's sure they missed hitting a bus full of people by a centimeter and an old man on a bike by a hair.

"He's going to be piloting a plane we're on?" Emily whispers, opening one of her eyes that had been closed since the close call with the man on the bike.

"He's a lot safer in the air." Ali responds, tucking a strand of hair behind Emily's ear. "I won't let anything hurt you.""

The look in her eye is so fierce and sure Emily can't help but believe the words to be true. Despite everything, and whatever is going on it makes her smile. She knows its true.

"You know," she whispers. "I think I felt safer when we were running from that guy."

A genuine smile breaks out on Alison's face as a laugh comes from her mouth. "Me too, babe. Me too."

"Hey what are you too talking about so closely back there?"

"How your an idiot driver."

He rolls his eyes in the mirror before shrugging. "Well I'm the idiot driver who got you to Sidevale in fifteen minutes." He says gesturing to the hangar and runway there pulling into.

"Still an idiot."

When he exits the car to go get the plane ready, Emily looks down at their intertwined hands, brushing her fingers over Alison's quietly until she get to her ring finger. "So can we talk about what's going on now."

Alison looks her in the eye. No more time to run around, no more push backs. Just the truth. "I can't tell you everything right now. Ok?"

Emily nods.

"I'm-well I was an agent for an organization called Operation 49."

Emily's hands halt as she takes in the words that just came out of Ali's mouth. "Agent...like a secret agent?"

Ali nods. "Yes."

* * *

A/N: So yeah Ali's a secret agent. Dun, dun, dun. How will Emily react? Why is Operation 49 after her? What exactly is Operation 49? Can love overcome all the lies that Ali has told because of her career? Tune in next time to find out on "Remember How I Love You"

P.S. I changed the name of this it was once called "49". And I wanted to say thanks for the review, faves, and follows I appreciate them greatly.


	3. Remember, Communication

"Operation 49 is the agency who I used to work for. They are coming after me because I quit." Ali explains.

"You quit?" Emily ask slowly. "Why?"

"I realized how much I want a future with you, and if I stay there that future is going slip away."

"Ali." Emily starts.

"I love you Emily. And my job was getting in the way of it."

They both no more needs to be said. Her job had been keeping her away. As she moved up in the ranks they began sending her on more international missions sometimes for weeks at a time. The separation was starting to put a strain on their marriage. The heated disputes they used to have exploded into cold silence. Alison knew the only way to melt that iceberg that was starting to sink them was to quit.

"Why won't they let you leave?" Emily asked confused.

Alison takes a deep breath. "Because there's this fear Operation 49 have that someone will rat them out. The only way out is death."

Emily eyes search around in unbelief. It's crazy. Insane. "Th-"

She's cut off by a knock on the window. Buddy's there smiling and waving.

"We're ready to roll." He yells as if they can't hear him through the window.

Alison takes Emily's hand as they exit the car. "We can finish talking on the plane."

* * *

Her wife wasn't an international sales representative for Revlon, but a secret agent. Her wife was a secret agent. For as long as she had known her, been involved with her she'd been an agent. Her mind was blown.

There was so much to process, knowing the love of her life had another life she's just learning about. A whole separate life that did not include her. Emily listens as Ali gives the other half's to truths she's told before. She listens to Alison tell her the story of how she got involved with Operation 49 first. How after her mom pulled the plug on paying for her tuition, how desperate she was that she found herself saying yes to a woman grey suit, asking her if she needed a job.

She tells Emily about how the day they met for the first time was also the day of her first assignment. How the words Emily had said to her in her drunken state had helped her decide she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to do. She continued with things like why she was late on their wedding day, she had accidentally lost the rings on a mission in England. Or why during their second anniversary her arm was really broken, a guy named Big Tony pushed her out of a window in Arizona, over a flash drive.

"What was on it?" Emily ask.

"I don't know." Alison shrugged, fiddling with the water bottle she'd gotten earlier. "I never asked too many questions. I learned quick, you just do what your told."

"What happens if you don't?" Eyes widening for the hundredth time that day.

"They hurt you." The words come out careful. She knows Emily, and prays she won't ask too many more questions. Questions she can't answer now.

"They didn't do anything to you, did they?"

Her lips quirk into a sad smile as she looks down. There had been many instances of torture disguised as discipline, things too dark for her wife to know. All she needs to know is she made it through. She was strong enough. "Nothing I can't handle."

The silence engulfs them for a few moments as Emily sits and thinks.

"Em." Alison starts. "I know it's a lot to process, and I know you're probably angry."

Emily looks directly at Alison, eyes wide. Confused yes, but angry? Why would she be angry? "I'm not angry."

"But-" Alison starts until Emily cuts her off.

"Listen." She says scooting forward in her seat until their knees are touching. "I am a little hurt you didn't tell me sooner but I understand you were just trying to protect me."

"And I will for the rest of my life." Alison says immediately, the fierce look in her eyes again.

"I know you will." She says before taking Alison's hands in her own and looking her in the eye. "But you've got to let me in, let me know."

Alison takes a deep breath as she looks down at the strong hands cradling her own. A small smile appears on her face looking back up into Emily's eyes

"I love you." It's simple and true because she thinks she needs Emily to know that.

Emily nods before she leans forward to rest her forehead against Alison's. "I know."

Another silence falls over them as their eyes connect. Brown meets blue, together. They're drawing each other in, breathing each other's air. It's a comfort to know.

As their mouths gravitate toward one another tan fingers find golden locks running through them to settle on the back of Alison's head. Lips graze slightly before being pressed completely against each other only to still a moment later. It's a comfort to know.

Emily's lips parts slightly, taking in Alison's bottom lip. Lips slide together in harmony. The kiss is like a choir singing, it's a comfort to know.

The beeping of Alison's watch breaks them from their concentration in their world back to the real world.

As her eyes glance at the watch her lips settle into a thin line. When she looks back up at Emily though, she can't help but smile as she reaches out to touch Emily's face. "We have a couple more hours, how about you try to get some sleep?"

Emily eyes her carefully for a while before nodding. "Are you gonna sleep too?"

"No. But I will soon." She adds on after seeing Emily's concerned face. "I've got some things I have to make sure are ready for when we land."

"I can help."

"It's not much." She says before placing a kiss to Emily's forehead. She turns to go into the cockpit only to be stopped by a hand grasp hers.

"Ali. Wait."

"Hm?"

"I love you too."

Alison smiles. "I know."

* * *

The only things she exits the plane with is the backpack she prepared on her back and Emily in her arms.

"Wow there Ms. Strongwoman I could..." Buddy starts to joke but stops as her eyes cut to him. "I was just saying I could carry her." He explains, hands up in mock defense. "Or you could you know wake her up."

Alison looks down to her wife sleeping in her arms. A laugh escapes her mouth because she can't help but think of the chaos that would ensue if she woke her. "She sleeps like a bear. First of all it's hard to wake her, and second if you do...you'd wish you didn't."

"Okay. Well I could carry her." He says, moving towards her. Buddy being the type of guy eager to help. Alison shakes her head.

"I've got her." She says gripping the woman in her arms a little tighter as she walks down the stairs of the small plane onto the runway. "Just open the car door."

Moments later Alison places Emily gently onto the leather seat, Buddy watches from the drivers seat as she reclines it back a little. When she takes the backpack off and gets out what's inside he has to keep a chuckle to himself. He thought, like always Alison would have come prepared with weapons, ammo, protection, but no she takes out a small blanket and pillow. Gingerly she places the pillow behind Emily's head, then places the blanket around her carefully. When she finishes brushing a few strands of hair out of Emily's face, he decides to say somthing.

"Aww that's so sweet." Buddy's booming voice stops her as she sends a cold glare his way. She looks back at Emily's sleeping form one more time before she closes the door lightly and enters the passenger side.

"So you told her." Buddy ask moments later from the drivers seat.

She stays quiet, her blue eyes gazing out to the trees standing still as the zoom past them.

"I guess that's a yes?" He continues slowly. "How'd it go?"

"Good." She lets out, because she realizes he won't stop and unlike years ago she doesn't want to hurt his feelings.

"You didn't tell her everything did you?" He turns to look at her, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

Her lips purse, and her eyes roll before settling up to the midnight blue sky. "Keep your eyes on the road."

"Did you get at least all the important stuff."

Her eyes make there way from the night sky to the backseat. "I told her what she needs to know for now. I'll deal with the rest later."

"What about your mom?"

"No." She says, her voice hard.

"How long you guys been married again?" He knows that the Alison he was partnered with in the beginning of training all those years ago might appears so he ask a simple question. Sensing her agitation he changes the subject, he knows there's limits.

"Four years, nine months, fifteen days." She says immediately, only to get a laugh out of Buddy.

"Could you be anymore specific?"

He laughs when she glances to her watch. Yes she could be more specific. "It was a start to the best days of my life."

"So that's love?" He asks simply.

"Yes." Her eyes look at him smug. "You should try it sometime."

"Maybe." He says, looking truly thoughtful. "Did you tell her about us?"

"Yes. She knows you and Cece are from 49. That you're two of the few who made it out still breathing."

"Hey. It'll all work out. She won't get you. Look at me and Cece we've been out how long and they still haven't got us."

"You two are different." She starts to roll down her window, needing some air. "It's not only my head they want."

"Well, the Alison DiLaurentis I know won't go down without a fight."

Her eyes find his. A deadly fire just beginning in them. "That's for sure."

It's quiet for the rest of the ride. Buddy is getting tired and Alison doesn't have much to say. Thinking about Operation 49 makes her head stormy. Rage like lightning bolts, and confusion like grey clouds rain down. Every once in a while she'll glance at Emily in the back seat, then up to the moon and a calm takes precedence in her mind for a moment.

"I'm glad you found it." He says interrupting the silence that had lasted the last twenty minutes of the ride.

"What?"

"What you were looking for." He explains simply as he pulls into a dark driveway.

A smile comes to her face as she looks in the rearview mirror her wife. "Yeah. I am too."

She closes her door softly before opening Emily's door. As she unstraps the seatbelt and puts the blanket and pillow she ask Buddy to go unlock the door.

She carries Emily into the dark house, kicking off her shoes at the door. Not a sound is heard in the home as she walks up the stairs, focusing on her footing. When she enters the bedroom at the top of the stairs she lays Emily onto the spacious bed. Sitting down on the edge of the bed she grabs a hold of Emily's foot and taking her flip flops off. She starts to tug gently at Emily's jeans when she see's a reflection of light.

Emily is staring at her, the moonlight dancing in her eyes.

A sleepy smile comes onto her face."You trying to get in my pants?"

"I'm trying to get you comfortable for bed." Ali smirks.

"Sure." She says before looking around slowly. Her eyebrows furrowed. "Where are we?"

"Busan." She gestures for Emily to lift her hips as she goes back to taking off her pants. She puts them in the closet to the right of the television in the room, before going into the drawer getting some shorts for both of them. She feels Emily's eyes following her around the room, watching her every move.

"Where's that?"

"South Korea."

"Hey Alison." Buddy's voice travels up the stairs.

"I'll be right back." Alison says, handing Emily the shorts. "I'm gonna let Buddy out."

She walks down the stairs only to be almost blinded by the lights on. "Why'd you turn on all the lights?"

"Because being in the dark is the creepy. Anyway I'm gonna head out. I'll see you in four days right?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks Buddy."

Locking the door, she takes a breath. Glad to be somewhere safe again. She walks through the small house, turning off all the lights Buddy turned on, before she climbs back up the stairs.

She comes to a halt in the doorway of the room to find Emily sitting up in the bed cross legged waiting for her. Her heart swells with love and Alison can't help herself, she needs to be near her she almost runs. But then she stops by thoughts in her minde. Her breaths start to comes up short. The fear creeping inside her thoughts keep telling her she's put Emily through way too much today. Maybe she should back off. But standing in the doorway now she knows that to be able to breath easy again she needs to be with her air. She has to be brave she tells herself. The need to be close to her wife wins out over the fear she'll reject her. No matter how hard she tries, she needs protection too.

When she finally starts to move towards the bed Emily's head whips up and see's the unreadable expression on Alison's face, she opens her arms and Alison wants to cry. Until she met Emily she never knew love could be this intense. Could make her feel insane at times.

As Emily's arms wrap around her waist, Alison sits on Emily's lap, her legs wrapping around Emily's waist. Her arms locking around her shoulders. Alison exhales.

"Talk to me." Emily says, her arms tightening around the blondes waist.

"What about?"

"Whatever you want to talk about." She just wants to sit, hold her, and listen to whatever it is she wants to say. She wants Alison to know she's here with her and she's not leaving.

"About anything?" Alison ask.

Emily bites her lip, before nodding her head. "About anything."

* * *

A/N: Hello again! Thanks so much for reading and for the review, faves, and follows. So we know who Operation 49 is now...or do we? Emily's decided to stay, but for how long? And Ali still has stuff she's hiding...why? Tune in next time as the story continues of "Remember How I Love You".


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